(Un)Common Courtesies

People feel most engaged to the extent they feel most welcome. Feeling welcome is a function of common and uncommon courtesies. The most important part of making courtesies possible is inviting the conversation in the first place. This is the question of what kinds of courtesies people want to share together. Here's a short list of options to consider.

  • Greeting anyone who walks into a conversation
  • Inviting anyone exiting a conversation to share requests, offerings and takeaways
  • Letting people finish their thought before interrupting them with a response or reaction
  • Responding to differences with questions before judgements 
  • Asking people to verbally express nonverbally expressed emotions 
  • Giving people space to have needed silence to reflect or regroup
  • Creating physical comforts when people are in any way uncomfortable 
  • Giving people freedom to engage or disengage for their own reasons without pressuring engagement
  • Allowing people to authentically say no as freely as they might say yes to anything