The Myth & Paradox Of "Accepting People As They Are"

The idea of "accepting people as they are" (and its corollary getting people to accept us as we are) was based on the inaccurate belief that habits we call "personalities" are immutable. The neurosciences have demonstrated that the brain is neuroplastic. It has no permanent structures and within weeks new habits can be built in the brain. Habit is not destiny. To say anyone has to accept anyone sustains the inaccuracy. It is more accurate, not to mention more empowering, to support change, which turns out to be our nature as much as it is the nature of our world.